Obsessing over your holiday party? Or, compulsing around the Christmas tree.

It's the holiday season (as the incessant Christmas music insists), and around this time many of you may be planning a  party to celebrate the special day of your choice. You may have your own traditions, but my family is decidedly secular, bordering on hedonistic. This year, we decided to throw a tacky sweater party. It's a great way to kick start the holiday season (apologies to your Nonnas' and their wardrobes for the mockery I have made...), and if you would like to throw one or something like it, I have prepared a list of important considerations below:

First and Foremost- Get Your Attire Together
(A clothing-themed party requires more obsessive nit-picking than usual)

• Any old sweater simply won't do; it must be obtained via home crafting, a legit thrift store, or an old lady's closet, preferably one that doesn't get the joke.
• The appropriate level of tackiness must be met; too little embellishment and you simply can't dress, too big or small and you'll be too uncomfortable in your ill-fit sweater to enjoy the party.
• Dangling ornaments or flashing lights attached to said sweater are a major plus; but only if you can somehow wash it before wearing. (Very important!) 

Second- Write Your Guest List
(Even numbered lists are best, if possible)

• Determine how many people can comfortably mingle at your place. Don't forget to account for your furniture when calculating your square footage!
• Couples always make for the easiest lists; if you have single friends, invite them in equal numbers.

Third- Food and Drink
(An area ripe for the obsessive-compulsive picking)

• The food must follow a theme. Off-theme food items are obviously inedible.
• It is critical to estimate the confirmed number of guests:snack ratio. 
• Once the ratio has been determined, snacks must be arranged symmetrically on appropriately festive serveware (asymmetrically arranged food is also inedible). 

Fourth, and Most Importantly- Decorating
(Ah, the crucible of holiday-esque compulsive activity)

So many choices! The tree is a great place to start, and remains my focal point.

• How symmetrical is your tree? Do you need to trim any of the branches to even things out? Don't be afraid to prune!
• Are there an appropriate number and variety of ornaments? Are they spaced proportionally around the tree? Because, you know, if they aren't it's going to be a major distraction and ruin the entire party.
• Does the tree skirt need ironing? Will a tree skirt made entirely of cheap poly-blend and glitter glue melt if you try to iron it? 

Ah, now the house is complete, and you can throw your tacky sweater (or insert alternate theme here) party. Everything is appropriately spaced, placed, ordered, and obsessed over. You may even be able to pay attention to your guests instead of scrutinizing your efforts. If you survived the party-planning process, you may just make it through your get-together in a convincingly sane fashion. Cheers to you, I wish you good luck and happy holidays!